05 October 2005

Emmerich Goes Back To 10,000 BC...And Hopefully Gets Lost There

Hey guys, it's Donnie... Can we officially close the book on Roland Emmerich? I really enjoy both Stargate and Independance Day, but ever since Godzilla... well, it's been all down hill from there. Seriously, the guy's movies were always pretty dumb, but at least they used to be fun. Now they're just stupid and boring to boot. The Day After Tomorrow looked kinda promising for a while, but I guess we all should have taken the cue from it's patently stupid title. Instead we had to take the cue from it's patently stupid CGI wolves.

Well, The Masterbater Of Disaster is poised to inflict his next creation (or, more probably, destruction) upon us, and it's called 10,000 BC. Personally I think I liked it better when it was called Soul Of The Age, not because that's a dramatically, or even moderately better title, but because 10,000 BC sounds like a lame sequel to that Raquel Welch movie from 1966. So far all we've got is that it centers around a 21 year old caveman who hunts migratory mammoths with his tribe each year. Then I think he gets trapped under some falling snow and gets frozen for a few thousand years till he gets thawed out by Paulie Shore and Samwise Gamgee. He then goes on to star in Monkeybone.

Emmerich co-wrote the script with Harald Kloser, the guy who composed the music for Three Days After Yesterday, and will also compose the music for this, as well as executive produce and work the craft services truck. The script is currently undergoing a re-write by John Orloff, the guy behind Band Of Brothers, which was extremely well written. So perhaps this thing has a slim chance of not totally sucking.


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