25 August 2005

Chris Cooper Could Beat Up William Hurt

Hey guys, it's Donnie... I vaguely remember the whole Robert Hanssen affair in that I remember being utterly astounded at how little most people seemed to care. I mean, this was an FBI agent who spent a decade and a half leaking US intelligence info to the goddamn Soviet Union, an enemy who fostered total vitriolic hatred here in the states. The late 80s/early 90s were a time full of acid-tipped jokes about "Ruskies", vodka, iron curtains, facist potatoes, and "Ivan", the all-purpose Russian communist evil-man bad guy. And yet, once we hit the new millenium, no one cared anymore. If we had caught him in '92 we probably would have strung him up by the balls. (Coincidentally, the same punishment would have applied in 2004 as well) Maybe it was just relief at no longer having to live in constant fear of nuclear armageddon, but no one seemed to give a crap about this guy or the obvious problems with our intelligence security protocols. In just over a decade, we became nothing more than a relic of a time out of sight and out of mind.

There was a TV miniseries chronicling the entire brou-ha-ha starring William Hurt as Robert Hanssen. Surprisingly enough, no one cared then either. But far be it from Hollywood to let a little viewer apathy stop the wheels of industry from turning. Therefore, we'll soon be getting Breach, starring Chris Cooper as Hanssen and Ryan Phillipe as a young FBI agent working under Hanssen who eventually grows suspicious of his boss, probably when he found that liter of Smirnoff and the Soviet decoder ring sitting on Hanssen's desk.

I think that Chris Cooper will probably make a far better Hanssen than Hurt did, although I believe this movie is going to take a few more creative liberties with the story than the miniseries did. Maybe people will actually give a shit this time around. They should make his best friend a talking pie plate...


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