28 November 2005

In The Name Of All That Is Unholy...

Hey guys, it's Donnie...This is it. The BIG one. The one we've all been waiting for.

The trailer for In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale by Dr. Uwe Boll.

Boll has got to knock this one out of the park (and by "knock it out of the park," I mean "break even.") because his German tax loophole is about to close and then he'll never be able to pull together the absurd amounts of money he has in the past. He'll have to rely on his dubious (and that's being generous) filmmaking talents to pull together the scratch to start a new production.

So, how does it look?

It looks like a trainwreck. A trainwreck that took out every innocent bystander in its path. There were a number of people that I forgot were in this movie, and then they just keep slowly popping up over the course of the trailer, and each time someone new showed up I died a little bit inside. It's more than a little painful to watch. It's like Lord Of The Rings...but collosally boring. Seriously, the guy managed to make swordplay and creatures and magic about as exciting as my bus ride home. Uwe Boll makes some of the absolute worst trailers around. Granted this is not a theatrical trailer but an "in production" trailer, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it sucks balls.

Click it here to see where decent actors go to die...

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