01 June 2005

David Twohy Gets Threehy

Hey guys, it's Donnie...David Twohy, the guy behind the awesome Pitch Black and the not-so-awesome Chronicles of Riddick has just been given three shiny new projects. Seems the man went into Paramount to pitch an original idea for a heist movie, and Paramount liked it so much that they convinced him to convert it into "The Brazilian Job", aka a sequel to The Italian Job, aka that movie where Charlize Theron thinks she's Mario Andretti, aka that movie where Marky Mark pretends to be way smarter than he is, aka that movie that Edward Norton totally phoned in, aka the reason why there are so many clown cars (Mini Coopers) tooling around the streets of my beloved city (because you never know when you might have to jump the curb and drive on the sidewalk).

That may be the most ridiculous run-on sentence I've ever written.

Twohy won't be directing the next chapter in this middling series of movies, (word has it that automobile companies are already clamoring to have their car be showcased this time around) that dubious distinction will go to F. Gary Gray, the guy who directed The Italian Job and Be Cool, another movie that should have been kick ass but was apparantly totally middle of the road.

Instead, Twohy will be heading up two other projects in development: "The Would-Be Warrior", about a 15 year old who has to contend with some moldy old Norse gods, and "The Break" about some humans who break out of an alien prison.

It's interesting to note that "The Break" has been described as an update to a long in development project called "Alien Prison". I take that to mean that there was some project kicking around development hell for a while, Twohy got a hold of it, made some serious changes, and now has the go ahead. So that's two projects that Twohy is developing that he "sort of wrote". A few months back I remember hearing that Universal has snatched up the rights to a book about a modern guy who builds an ark to deal with a new flood from on high so that they could turn it into a sequel to Bruce Almighty. I don't know how I feel about studios snatching up original properties so that they can reformat them into sequels for their own pappy crap. I'm pretty sure I don't like it...

Basically they're saying, "We really want to do a sequel for this movie, but we don't have any good story ideas. Oh, this guy's got a great idea for a movie that bears a passing resemblence to our movie. Let's just buy his idea. That way, we don't need to come up with an original thought all by ourselves. Sweet."

...yeah, I defintely don't like it.


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